Modifications and consequences:

How a seemingly simple brake upgrade can snowball --6-cylinder BMW 2002: by Nick P.

1. Circa 1997-98: Buy sweet white 14x6 Panasport wheels from parents' neighbor (who had them mounted on a totally '80s/'90s monochrome BMW 1600, with painted bumpers and such)

2. Run the typical 2002 size for those wheels, 195/60-14. They rub like crazy (but only on one side, because my car is highly asymmetrical). Switch to 185/60-14, and all is fine. Discover that the wheels have more of an E21 (low) offset, which causes the clearance issues, but also makes them look tougher (IMO) than the normal 2002 14" Panasports.

3. Fast forward nearly 20 damn years. Put sweet brakes on the car, because I'm a REAL RACER. The hubs are different and the calipers are bigger, which causes three problems: 1. Wheels are no longer hubcentric, and sorta have to be eyeballed into a centered position; 2. Wheels hit calipers. (Fixed with spacers). 3. Stock 13x5 spare no longer fits on the front.

4. Get flat tire while dropping a friend off at SFO, left front. Know spare won't fit. Consider putting rear wheel on front, and spare on rear, instead use the AAA Plis free towing (which turns out to be a smarter decision than initially realized).

Flat Tire at SFO

5. Use this excuse to address hubcentric problem--get car towed to LeMons HQ (tow truck driver served 5 army tours in the middle east, which makes me feel like a dipshit for worrying about wheel problems). Guy next to HQ, Marc, is a fab guy (and makes the plasma-cut LeMons trophies). He takes the wheel with the flat tire, measures the hub, and makes aluminum hubcentric rings.

6. The rings are machined a little tight--the wheels are powdercoated and may have some powdercoat spots that changes the tolerances around the center hole. I work on sanding the paint around the hole, while Marc suggests putting one of the rear wheels on to see if the ring fit is any different (he chose the rear because the jack was already on that side). We then discover that the rear wheels are completely different around the center hole and won't fit on the fronts at all, hubcentric ring or not. My theory is that all four wheels were interchangeable with the stock front brakes, and I never noticed that the mounting pad design was slightly different. Now, the rears only fit on the rears. So, the clever move-the-rear-wheel-to-the-front-then-use-the-13" spare-on-the-back plan wouldn't have worked.

7. We take a few thousandths off the rings, and get the left front (which still has a flat tire) mounted. The rings are still a light press fit--which means that when I mount my sweet 14" bottlecap spare (which I don't have), it will mean hammering the ring off for 20 minutes (likely by the side of 880 in the rain, or somewhere in the Murder Dubs).

8. Then we discover the right front doesn't fit. Measurement reveals that the center hole on the right front wheel is smaller than the left front. So I have a minimum of three different wheels. (The only one that hasn't been off the car at this point is the right rear, which I now assume is also different, somehow.)

9. Re-machine right front hubcentric ring to fit wheel. Knowing full well that all of this mumbo-jumbo essentially guarantees another flatbed for my next flat tire. But I figure I'll wait until then to deal with it.

10. Drive flat tire to tire shop in East Oakland that I've been going to for 20 years--they fix my flats for free. They are closed for the holidays. Drive to other tire shop in Berkeley, drop off flat tire. On the way back, stop at German Auto Sport, former place of employment, and current home of Chris L. of LeMons 850i fame. Chris hooks up the free bottlecap-with-tire. Which I will use as a spare--although that tire size won't fit under the 2002 trunk floor. Will need to make spacers.

11. Talk to guy at shop who worked on my car (also a LeMons guy), and he says it's a long shot, but maybe try putting on the 13x5 spare up front with the spacer. That hella butt-ass doesn't work, but incidentally reveals that some moderate rust is starting in my spare tire well. Spend next several hours wire-brushing, sanding, and rattle-canning.

12. Get call from tire shop, the inner carcass is fried from driving on the flat tire. They ask if I want to order a replacement. I'm not sure which of the thousands of straws that this is, but the camel's back is finally broken, and I decide to buy new 15" wheels that allegedly fit everywhere with my setup. I pick up my wheel, and put the bottlecap on the car (after 20 minutes of hammering the hubcentric ring off). I now have no spare again.